To my dearest son, Dimitri,

I am sorry for making life a little difficult for you.

I am sorry about making you wear a constraining snowsuit.

I am sorry that car seats were made so uncomfortable.

I am sorry that Quebec streets are filled with potholes and I somehow land in all of them.

I am sorry I keep you awake, even when you are sleepy.

I am sorry I sometimes don’t pick you up right away, because I love to hear your little cries.

I am sorry that I don’t always get what your cries mean.

I am sorry that I let other people hold you, even if you are sometimes scared.

I am sorry I run you around town, when some days you just want to stay home and take it easy.

I am sorry I make you have tummy time, even though you hate it.

I am sorry that I take your hands out of your mouth, even though they provide you comfort (but you just bite down too hard and then it hurts you!!!)

I am sorry if your ears are sometimes polluted with horrible music.

I am sorry that I am not always fully present. I know that you feel me when I drift off, thinking of a million things. This is what I am most sorry for. You are my world. You are the second love of my life after your father. I thank you for showing me what unconditional love really is.

I will love you even if you choose to crossdress, become ultra religious, become a conservative, fall in love with someone that I don’t like, and anything else you throw my way. I will love you even if you choose to hate me. I will love you NO MATTER WHAT! I promise you this Dimitri. I hope this will make up for all the mistakes I may make along the way raising you. Please know that I don’t intend on messing this up, but who knows? We all think that our parents messed us up somehow. I just hope you know that my intentions are to love you unconditionally and to accept you for whoever you choose to be one day.

With all my love,

Your mother