To my dear Dimitri,

Today, I have come to understand your personality just a little bit more. You are approaching 8 months soon and I have gone through an incredibly exhausting day with you. I am so proud of you in more ways than you can imagine – you are crawling around fearlessly, you are already able to pull yourself up, you babble non-stop, you have a loveable smile and the most inquisitive eyes, and most importantly, you have PERSONALITY! Tons of it. It’s oozing out of you.

All this doesn’t come easy for us parents though. Dimitri, you simply refuse to sleep. Today, I have spent approximately 3 hours trying to convince you of how tired you are. Your father and I don’t believe in letting you cry it out, because we want your beginnings to be built around love, attention to your needs and trust. There are times though when all that goes out the window. You fall asleep so gently in my arms, but the moment I set you down in your crib you have this alarm that rings inside of you. You jump up and start screaming bloody murder. God knows what our neighbours think we’re doing to you! I am writing this down because one day we can all laugh about how much of a spitfire you were. However, at this very moment, I cannot laugh. I have cried and cried and cried with you today. As I write this, you have let out a little moan and my whole stomach is tied up in knots because you have only been sleeping for 30 minutes.

Okay, I just calmed you down and you’re back asleep. My dear Dimitri, I hope I have the strength to always take care of you as I should. To never get mad or lose my patience to the point where I emotionally damage you. I want to be a good mother and sometimes I feel like a complete failure at that job. But please know that I am trying. Every day I thank God that I haven’t hurt you by mistake or on purpose 😉 Every day, I ask God to give me courage to make it through those challenging moments. Every day, I breathe you in, looking at your tiny hands & feet and smelling your baby smell, because I have heard it one too many times that these moments will fly by and before I know it you will be a man. And wow, are they ever flying. Eight months have already passed. What an emotional roller-coaster life has been. You are wonderful Dimitri. I would not change one thing about you, not your screams, not your lack of sleep, not your irrational judgement of the things your body can do, not your determination to go a little further every day, and most definitely, not your spirit. May you always have this abundance of energy and excitement in your life. And may I always remember to breathe you in – every single day, even the bad days like today.

I love you,

Your mom