Our friend and spiritual teacher, fondly referred to as Father Neo has guided us through many religious and enlightening conversations. When George and I were planning to get married, we had many talks with Father Neo on the purpose of marriage and the eternal happiness possible. Although a monk and never married, Father Neo had a lot of wise words for us. He asked us why we were getting married. Such a simple question with what seems to be a basic answer right? We obviously love one another, we think of each other as soulmates, and we wanted to make a promise to one another of being there through it all. But the questions got harder. Why is the divorce rate so high these days? What happens if our paths lead in different directions as time goes on? What happens after the kids grow up? What will be the glue, the binding factor that will make us hold onto our marriage through thick and thin?
Father Neo speaks often of the Holy Trinity. He says that it is not only related to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but that there are many trinities in life. He states that marriage used to be a bond between man, woman and God. The husband and wife always had a path towards God that kept them together. They were unified by God and would only part when God willed them to, generally in death. In this age, many of us don’t see this religious perspective anymore. We’re not really churchgoers and we don’t see the Bible as truth. We have slowly detached from the Church and from God as a consequence. Father Neo was okay with that. He said it’s fine if we don’t have God in our trinity. But he asked us the really tough question after that. What will be OUR trinity? What will keep George and me together, after the financial problems, after the children, after the deep passion, after the good and bad? Why will we hold on? I often wonder if Father Neo simply knows that there can be no other path but a spiritual one to hold people together.
It was interesting. George and I never really found the answer to that question before we got married, but our love for one another never made us doubt that we were missing anything. I still feel in my heart that I made the right decision. Today, almost 2 years after our marriage, George and I had a disagreement. It’s a fairly common disagreement between us that may lead to a “fight” someday. It could be that this disagreement will push the two of us apart. I questioned all of these things when he left for work today and asked myself if I could ever leave him. The answer was so simple – NO! I could never see myself hurt this man. The father of our child, the big chunk of my heart, the free-spirited angel, my husband. I will always put myself in his shoes and see where he is coming from. And although we may not have yet found that trinity and determined what will keep us together in our years to come, I know that I will always do my best to keep my promises to the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. There could be no other man. He is my dream come true.
